Which of course means that I can't sleep. He was up basically all last night working, he really needs his sleep tonight, which is fine when I'm sleepy, but one of the things that calms me down and relaxes me enough to go to sleep is talking to him.
So, browsing the inter webs it is. Part of why I can't sleep is because I panicked over some data in a paper I'm revising. It's based on a website, which it turns out, has updated it's FAQ and other pages. Fortunately, the revisions won't be too major, but I'm kicking myself for not screenshoting EVERYTHING with timestamps.
Eventually, I turn to the Bible, specifically Psalms. (Isn't it sad that that wasn't my first instinct in the grip of worry and frustration?). There is so much richness in the Psalms. David really knew how comforting God can be in times of extreme tribulation. However, that means that I have to do some browsing around before I find anything that seems applicable to this particular situation. Enemies are not trying to kill me, or my first born son. I'm not at war with neighboring countries with big, gold-plated armies. I'm just overtired and a little overwhelmed.
Enter Psalm 62
My soul waits in silence for God only;
From Him is my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation.
My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken. ~ 62:1-2
So much to love in those four lines. I love how they have the soft, inverted rhyming scheme (don't know the actual literary term *gasp* even though I'm technically in an English department). I also love the weight of those lines as they repeat throughout the rest of the chapter. And the truth of those words, the capital-T Truth (*another gasp* "but we're postmodern, aren't we?") really hits home, reinforces the message that no matter what crap the world throws at us, we have God. He cannot be shaken, which means that we cannot be shaken.
Now, I'd love it if this meant my insomnia was instantly cured, and I would have lovely, bubble gum and cotton candy dreams for the rest of the night (my dreams often involve robot aliens that can shape shift). But that crafty fiend that is emotion, affect, feeling!!! Even as someone who considers herself to be a pretty devoted Christian, it's hard to fully shake off that bodily sensation of down-in-the-dumpness, even with a beautiful passage from Psalm 62. The flip side of God giving us a crazy wide emotional range is that sometimes you hit the lower end of the spectrum.
But it does help to know that God is not just my comforter but also my protector. Now I just need to figure out how to inform my emotions and body of that small fact.
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